PLANNING TO WRITE: The Shrimp Cocktail Disaster

by Jacqueline Jules

In a February blog post, I discussed the use of graphic organizers  as a useful tool in pre-writing with primary school students. Pre-writing or jotting down ideas before you begin generally results in a more fleshed out story.

In addition, standardized writing tests can expect students to show some evidence of pre-writing or planning. The short essay part of the Virginia Standards of Learning Assessment includes a checklist for fifth graders, asking students to plan before they begin their written answer.

For an easy method of planning, teach your students to ask themselves a few simple questions.

First off, tell your students to answer this all important question: What is your story about? Are you relating a first experience? A funny experience? A lesson learned? An obstacle overcome?

Identifying the topic leads to the next question. What do you want your reader to feel?  Do you want your reader to laugh with you or cry? Are you trying to warn your reader  or  hoping to share a wonderful experience? Narrowing down your purpose helps you choose the best details to support your central theme.

For example, let me take you through my own planning for the following prompt: THINK BACK TO A MOMENT YOU’LL NEVER FORGET.

The moment I want to write about is something I dub “The Shrimp Cocktail Disaster.” It happened when I was in my early twenties, working as a waitress in a seafood restaurant. I was hurrying, with a huge tray of shrimp cocktails on my shoulder, to a party of twelve people in the back room of the restaurant. Just as I reached the table, I slipped on a wet spot and came crashing down, shrimp cocktails and all! The twelve hungry people at the table collectively moaned as shrimp and red sauce splattered everywhere.

“The Shrimp Cocktail Disaster” could be told in at least two different ways, if not more. Figuring out my purpose beforehand will provide focus and depth to my writing.   

First off, what is my story about? Is this a lesson learned? Don’t run with a tray of twelve shrimp cocktails? Or is it a funny experience, intended to make the reader laugh?

If I want my reader to laugh, then I should spend time describing the splattered red sauce, the shrimp flying across the room, and the awkward position of my exposed legs as I sat in the mess on the floor.       

If I want this to be a cautionary tale, I could include details about my impatience to be finished with my shift and my preoccupation with the amount of tip I could expect from such a large party that caused me to ignore what should have been an obvious spill on the floor.

Finally, I should decide the order in which I want to tell the tale. Should I begin with dropping the tray and share the details in flashback? Or should I tell the story in chronological order?

For humorous impact, it might be funnier to begin with a short slapstick teaser and then go back and tell how it happened. For a more serious account, maybe I would want to tell the story in chronological order. I could show how distracted I was and build the tension to my clumsy moment. Either way, planning ahead of time will help me focus the story and convey the meaning I intend to my reader.

So planning can all boil down to three easy questions: What am I writing about? What do I want my reader to feel? And what order should I tell my story?

www.jacquelinejules.com

PENCIL TIPS: WRITING WITH THE FIVE SENSES

by Mary Quattlebaum

I don’t know what to write!  Have you heard this wail from your students?  The five-senses exercise gives them a fun and focused way to start.  I’ve done this exercise with all ages, from third graders to college students to adults.  It helps hone descriptive and revising skills.

Exercise:  Use the senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch (at least 3 of 5) to write a description of a place.

*  Before writing, have students first close their eyes and quietly picture this spot in their minds.  Go through each of the senses one by one, asking them “What do you see in this place … hear … smell … taste … touch?”  And finish by asking, “How does being in this place make you feel?”

*  Have them write, using at least 3 of their 5 senses in their description of this place. Descriptions should be relatively short (about 1 to 3 paragraphs long).

*  After writing a first draft, have students revise, encouraging them to use more descriptive words (“lush, green” grass rather than “pretty” grass, for example); more specific nouns and adjectives (what kind of bird or what color, for example), and stronger verbs (“run” or “skip” rather than “go,” for example).

Variations

For young people:  I often challenge them to describe a place outdoors that is special to them.  This helps them to focus on and perhaps better experience the natural world.  Otherwise you tend to get descriptions of bedrooms and malls.

For creative writers:  In addition to sharpening descriptive skills, the exercise can be a boon for creative writers trying to flesh out scenes and create a well-rounded world for their characters.  (I often do this exercise, trying to imagine the scene before writing/revising it.)  It’s endlessly interesting because you can apply it to places/scenes real and imagined, scary, tranquil, or chaotic.

For everyone:  Ours is a culture that gives and receives a lot of information through our sense of sight.  And our vocabularies tend to be sight-rich—with many fewer words dealing with taste and smell.  By being aware of and drawing upon all your five senses in your writing, you’ll often find yourself more alive to your senses in the real world.

 http://www.maryquattlebaum.com/

PENCIL TIPS: TRANSITION TO WRITING

by Mary Quattlebaum

How do you set the stage for in-class writing?  Might your students need a “transition” exercise or two to help calm and center them before writing?

Depending on your students’ age, you might face different challenges:  wiggly, easily distracted kids; sleepy high school and college students; tired, overly busy adults.  But they all have one thing in common:  the need to be able to focus and think clearly in order to write effectively. How might you help move them more quickly into the relaxed, focused state helpful for writing?

Over the years, I’ve found the following helpful—for students of all ages and for me as a writer.  I have to confess:  If I don’t take a few minutes to “transition” before writing, all that I produce initially, alas, is a list of all the things—grocery shop, walk dogs, pick up dry cleaning—that I still must to do.

The whole series below takes about 5 to 8 minutes.  You can pick and choose from the movements, perhaps discovering those most helpful to your students—and to you.

Ask students to:

*  Sit with both feet flat on the floor and gently close eyes.  Keep eyes closed throughout.

*  Focus on breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling fully.  Students might picture their breath as one color when they inhale (for example, green) and as another color (for example, yellow) when they exhale.

*  Try to yawn or open their mouths wide a few times.

*  Shrug shoulders slowly up close to their ears and hold to count of 3.  Drop and repeat.

*  Let arms relax straight down at their sides.  Slowly lift arms in a graceful arc until finger tips are pointed to ceiling.  Stretch and breathe.  Lace fingers together and turn palms up to the ceiling and press up as if trying to push against ceiling with palms.  Bring arms slowly down again to sides.

*  Make hands into two tight fists and hold as tightly as possible for count of 3; gently shake out.  Stretch fingers as far and wide as possible and hold for count of 3; gently shake out.

*  Cross arms over chest and reach up to rub and massage ear lobes.  Uncross and relax arms.

*  Press feet slowly and firmly into floor while focusing on breathing. Students might pretend to be trees, sending out roots.  They might gently press down on knees to help “plant” their feet in the floor. Hold for slow count of 10.

*  Return to focus on breathing for several more breaths before asking students to open their eyes slowly and gently but to try to stay in quiet, focused space they created for themselves.

*  Time to write!

Added bonus:  These movements can be done outside class and at home and discreetly at work.  They can enhance focus and productivity no matter the assignment or intellectual task.

http://www.maryquattlebaum.com/