Guest Post by Janet Wong
One of the hardest
things for any writer is revision. You write something and fall in love with
it: how could it you possibly make it any better?
I tell students:
don’t try to make it better, just try
to make it different.
If a poem rhymes,
write a second draft that has zero rhyme. If a poem is long, cut it in half. If
it’s short, double it. Use revision to give yourself some choices.
Here’s an easy
exercise that will help you teach revision:
1. Read a science poem from The Poetry Friday Anthology for Science.
2. Underline the science concepts.
3. Extract a “Science Snippet” poem,
using as few words as possible to communicate the main science ideas.
4. If students want to keep some
non-science words in the Science Snippet version, that’s OK.
5. Read both poems aloud. Take a vote.
Which poem do your students like better? (Ideally the vote will be split, to
show how subjective the creative writing process is.)
Here is my poem
“The Brink,” one of 218 science poems from The
Poetry Friday Anthology for Science (K-5 Teacher’s Edition), with a Take 5! mini-lesson for each poem by
Sylvia Vardell:
And here is one
possible Science Snippet version:
The Brink (Science Snippet version)
by Janet Wong
I fill a cup to the
top
with ice,
pour to the brim.
When the ice
melts,
will my drink
spill?
The ice seems to
shrink.
PHEW!
It’s not clear to
me that one version is better than the other—just different. I like the longer
version (used in the book), but I’m sure that some people will prefer the
Science Snippet. This revision exercise is effective because separating “the
science parts” is easier than identifying “the best parts.” Students will be
able to produce a significantly different version in just five minutes without anguishing
over subjective choices.
Science + Poetry =
A Powerful Revision Exercise!
Janet Wong is the
co-creator (with Sylvia Vardell) of The
Poetry Friday Anthology series. For more info, please visit
PomeloBooks.com!
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