VERB POWER WITH CLAUDIA MILLS

Guest Post by Claudia Mills

Verbs are action words, strong words that let characters make something happen in a story. But some verbs are stronger than others. Strong verbs don’t need qualifying adverbs to help them out. Strong verbs can stand on their own because they convey a distinctive shade of meaning.

Consider all the verbs that are variants of walk, meaning “go along on foot.” Just a few entries for walk in a thesaurus include: stroll, march, tramp, prance, saunter, race, roam, trek, parade, wander, amble, strut, plod, trudge, shuffle, stalk, pace, plod, sprint, tiptoe. Each one conveys a different kind of gait, for a different kind of character, in a different kind of mood. You could write “Jane walked slowly” or you could write “Jane trudged.” You could write “John walked quickly,” or you could write “John raced.” A little girl showing off her new hair ribbons might prance; an old man worried about falling might shuffle. Someone who is leaving a room angrily stalks away; someone who is walking along dreamily wanders or meanders. With a strong enough verb, the adverb is unnecessary.

In the first chapter of my recent book Simon Ellis: Spelling Bee Champ, a video game character springs over a string of fireballs and then plunges into space; a pet ferret scrambles out the door and scrabbles up someone’s arm. In later chapters, a dog bounces after a kid; the enthusiastic principal pops into the classroom one day and and bounds into it on another; one girl trails after another (showing reluctance to go). All of these are verbs that move a character from one place to another, but they do so in such vividly different ways.

Take my list of motion verbs, above, or a list you’d find for the entry “walk” in any good thesaurus. Invite kids to come to the front of the room to act out each one. Have them strut, march, saunter, amble. Where they don’t know the meaning of the word, you may have to join in the acting yourself, or provide a sentence to give context: “Andy was so proud of his new football jersey that he strutted to the front of the room so that everyone could see,” or “Ellie felt the weight of the world on her shoulders as she plodded to the car.”

Give the students a list of motion verbs qualified with adverbs: walk quickly, walk slowly, walk happily, walk sadly, walk confidently, walk fearfully. Ask the students to find a substitute stronger verb to take the place of each verb + adverb combination.

Finally, invite the students to speculate on why a person might be strutting, marching, sauntering, ambling, pacing, plodding, or sprinting. What just happened before this moment to make him or her walk in this way? Where is he or she trying to go? And why? What is going to happen next? Strong verbs don’t just contribute action to a story. They can be the start of a story, too!

BIO: Claudia Mills is the author of over 50 books for young readers, including How Oliver Olson Changed the World (an ALA Notable Book of the Year) and The Trouble with Ants (which just received a starred review in Publishers Weekly), as well as the Franklin School Friends series of chapter books from Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Claudia lives in Boulder, Colorado, with her family and her cat, Snickers. Visit www.claudiamillsauthor.com.

Sprinkling on the Grammar

by Jane Harrington

November is here—leaves are blowing in circles around us, the first logs of the season are being tossed in fireplaces, and we’re thinking about comfort foods: hearty soups, turkey dinners, plates of spaghetti. So, let’s go with this today and liken a good story to swirling leaves (dynamic, moving), a cozy fire (touching, heartwarming), and a fine meal (nourishing to the body and soul).

Lingering on the food metaphor, I like to think about how the smallest ingredients make all the difference in those things we love to eat: the rosemary leaves on the roasted vegetables, the garam masala stirred into the Ethiopian dish, the pinch of cinnamon in the tomato sauce. (Note to self: Must cook as soon as I finish this post!) This, to me, is what good grammar is to writing. The perfect punctuation mark, the right word—these can turn an ordinary story into something special, something memorable. And raising this sort of awareness can be fun for writers of all ages. REALLY.

Here’s an adjective/adverb activity that can work with a story that is already written. (If you need ideas for creative prompts, I recommend a blog by a high school teacher at writingprompts.tumblr.com. This writing instructor ties his prompts to Common Core Anchor Standards, and most are suitable for writers across the age spectrum.) After instruction on adjectives and adverbs, have the student writers identify these parts of speech in the stories they’ve written. Is their creation under spiced? Have them sprinkle more in! Have they over spiced? Have them reduce the ingredient!

You can also approach this as a challenge in the original piece of writing, by limiting the part of the speech (No adverbs at all in your story!) or over saturating (Every sentence must contain an adjective!). Mix it up for your young writers’ personal palates. The extra attention to craft is sure to result in some tasteful tales.

Some Common Core K-5 connections:

CCSS L.2.1.e: Use adjectives and adverbs, and choose between them depending on what is to be modified.

CCSS L.3.1.a: Explain the function of nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs in general and their functions in particular sentences.

Anchor Standards for Writing #5: Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.

www.janeharrington.com

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

by Pam Smallcomb

I remember when I decided to focus on my writing, and I attended my first SCBWI Writer’s Conference. It seemed to me that at each presentation, I was given this advice:

“Show, don’t tell.”

I looked around at my fellow attendees and saw them nodding sagely. In my head I was thinking, “What in the heck are they talking about?” Since I was obviously the only one who didn’t ‘get it,’ I sat quietly and hoped to break this super-secret code on my own some day.

Eventually, I figured out that what these writers and editors were saying was that the actions of your characters should reveal their character traits and flaws (not to mention the plot itself). But how do you check for ‘telling’ in your own work? One way is to take a close look at your adverbs and adjectives, and consider each one a candidate for the old axe.

For example, the sentence “She looked at the box carefully.” doesn’t really tell you how she went about examining the box, nor does it reveal anything about her character, her emotional state, or the plot.

Instead you could write, “Her hands shook as she turned the box over and over in her lap.”

This sentence could convey nervousness, or excitement, or even fear (depending on what is in that box!).

Another way to check your own work is to keep an eye out for the verbs ‘is’ and ‘are’ (and the past tenses ‘was’ and ‘were’).

For example:

“David is charming.”

How is he charming? Does he remember everyone’s birthday? Have a smile that can melt ice cream? Perform magic tricks spontaneously? How does his particular charm manifest itself?

In other words, if I were to watch David in action, what would he do that would cause me to think of him as charming? ‘Showing’ instead of ‘telling’ is what draws your reader into your story, and makes them bond to the characters. It allows your reader to become the character.  It forces the reader to watch the characters and deduce what their actions mean. It doesn’t spell everything out the way ‘telling’ does. It’s a less passive experience all around.

An exercise that students can do to help them see the difference is to first make a list of adverbs and adjectives, then write two sentences: one ‘telling’ and one ‘showing’.

Ex. Loudly:

I watched Rosi clap loudly when Ralph won first prize.

When they announced Ralph had won, I glanced at Rosi and covered my ears.

Ex. Grumpy:

Sid was pretty grumpy when I woke him up.

Sid slammed me in the side of the head with his pillow when I woke him up.

I recently watched the BBC version of Charles Dickens’ Little Dorrit. More importantly, I watched the characters. The actions and mannerisms of each character were unique: from the servant Flintwinch’s gruff behavior, to Amy Dorrit’s gentle and kind-hearted manner. You knew Amy Dorrit was kind-hearted not because everyone pointed to her and said, “Now there goes a kind-hearted girl!” but because Dickens shows us. He shows Amy saving part of her lunch to take back to her father in debtor’s prison. He shows her taking care of people. He doesn’t tell us to think of her as kind. We begin to think of her as kind, as we watch her actions.

When trying not to ‘tell’ your story you can remember the old adage, “Actions speak louder than words.”

http://www.pamsmallcomb.com/

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